Three questions to harness your desire and reap real rewards.
When you have IBS there are certain things that you eat, drink or do that can make you feel, well, terrible! So why on earth would you do this to yourself?!
It all boils down to the fact that you are a human being and we humans are hard-wired to have urges and desires. So yay! You’re normal.
Harnessing your desire for good is the challenge. To do that, you must learn to recognize when your desire is working for you (healthy desire), and when it’s just an urge for something that you know will be bad for you. The acid test? If what you want is going to make you feel like crap afterward, it’s an urge that should be acknowledged but not acted upon. It’s your brain telling you a giant piece of chocolate cake and a big glass of milk is JUST what you need right now. And when your brain tells you to hurry up and take action on your urge, that’s another test. The part of your brain that generates these urges (we call that the “primitive brain”) will always try to bypass the part of your brain that’s more sophisticated and thoughtful. By rushing you and making it seem like an urgent need. This leaves you with no time to think about, and realize, no it’s not urgent. No, it’s not even something I should do!
So, here’s a little checklist you can apply to your urges and desires to see which part of your brain is in charge. When you get an urge for something, check in with yourself and ask these three questions:
Will the results of taking action on this urge make me feel good?
If I take action on this urge will I be more of who I WANT to be afterward?
What will happen if I don’t take action on this urge?
Use these questions to clarify the true source of your desire. For the urgent “needs” that are sent up by your primitive brain, practice allowing yourself to feel the urge without taking any action. Keep in mind your greater desire to feel good, be healthy, honor, and respect yourself. This takes practice! Don’t beat yourself up if you can’t do it the first few times you try.
As you practice, you should begin to discover some important things.
Nothing bad happened because you DIDN’T take action on that urgent “need.”
You are starting to see the emergence of healthy desire — such as the desire to feel good instead of feeling like crap; and the desire to honor and respect yourself instead of treating yourself badly.
Healthy desires, such as the desire to eat what is good for you, go for a walk, focus on accomplishing your goals, will start to become stronger than the urge to sit in the kitchen eating chocolate cake and drinking milk. And that’s because, as you see and feel the results of taking action on your healthy desires, those results will become very motivating.
These practices are proven to work because they enable you to take control of your urges by focusing on results. You get thoughtful about your urgent “needs” vs your healthy desires. You change your brain’s natural focus from short-term pleasure to long-term reward. And the results that pile up serve as a reminder the next time you get one of those urgent primitive brain “needs.”
Do something wonderful for yourself. Try this for two weeks and see what happens. The rewards are waiting for you.
